Li’l Abner Goes to Town — Finding It: Chapter 28

Having established a routine by now, after wrestling practice on Friday, I rushed to the shower and then dried off before getting dressed. Some of my fellow wrestlers were dressing for our school’s dance. So, it was not all that odd that I walked out of the fieldhouse surrounded by a platoon of other Li’l Abner wannabes. My straw hat, bibbed overalls, blue-collared work shirt with a red neckerchief, and the requisite, broken-in, ‘clod-hopper’, work boots were authentic, though. I wore similar garb when I worked on the farm. Other parts of my ensemble were things I borrowed from Dad.

Despite scrubbing my boots as much as possible to remove the remnant of multiple scents of different types of livestock manure to which the boots had been overexposed, I needed to douse them in cologne to mask the odor. As that caused another problem, that their fragrance was too strongly skewed in the other direction, I hosed them off outside and scrubbed them in lemon juice and caked-on baking soda around them. Once removed, the ad hoc treatment made them smell more like a boot than anything else.

After all the attention I put into the boots, I let them dry out for several days. Putting them on, the leather was stiff, as one would expect, but at least I didn’t need to drive with my car window rolled down.

On the way to Tipp City, I stopped at a filling station, not to top off my tank, as I’d filled up at home in anticipation of the long drive and eventual return trip ahead. Instead, I needed to get something with caffeine in it as I was expecting to be up well past midnight and I was already feeling the weight of a long week at school with early starts and late nights as school and wrestling began to catch up with me. Even if I wasn’t fond of coffee, I needed a good jolt from a large cup.

Usually, I listened to music on cassette tape or on the radio as I drove. But lately, I’d grown to appreciate silence. In that extended quiet time, I thought about what it was that I expected from this evening. Pam would be the only one there who I knew, other than Shane Gooding, the wrestler. Was I now considering Pam as my girlfriend?

Mainly, the momentum of the moment carried me along. Obviously, no one from the past cared as much about me as I did about them. Some portion of their feelings was always held in reserve. I should have held back, too. Getting involved was the initial mistake. And starting something with Pam didn’t make a lot of sense either, except that I enjoyed being with her. Hurting her was something I didn’t want to be added to multiple failures that tainted what I had hoped would be the most memorable school year of all. But what were my real feelings?

We’d been on two dates unless you count the first time that began as the rendezvous at North High School. At any rate, in all cases, we met somewhere — once at a movie theater, another time it was a pizza place. For whatever reason, I’d never picked her up at her house. I had yet to meet her folks. This time, that was finally going to happen.

There was lingering suspicion about Pam, something I couldn’t quite zero in on. What was it she saw in me? Why would she want to go out with a guy from a different school? She didn’t strike me as shallow, but I had to know if the attraction was solely based on my recent athletic success.

I wondered if I would ever feel for Pam what I felt for anyone before her? Could I possibly feel more? If it was not possible, attending the dance with her at her high school was futile. For Pam’s sake, I hoped I could at least make the evening fun and memorable.

Still, in the background, something niggled at me. Why was it so important for Pam that I take her to the dance? She called twice about it. Surely, a girl like her could find a date in no time. What was in it for her? For my part, I didn’t anticipate much out of the evening except for maybe learning why I was invited.

When I arrived at Pam’s house, I was not certain that I had found the right place. It looked familiar. I had been there before when I followed her home and when I dropped her off, but those times were at night and no lights were on. The car in the drive looked familiar. I was knocking on the door, hoping I was it was the right place. I waited. When her mother answered I smiled, seeing a family resemblance, especially in her eyes. “I’m Brent,” I said. “I’m here for Pam.”

“Come in. Pamela is still getting ready.” She closed the door and turned. “So, you’re the mysterious new guy in my youngest daughter’s life?”

“Well, I don’t know about the mysterious part, but I guess from your perspective, I fit the bill. It’s good to finally meet you.”

“Oh, the mystery is there. Make yourself comfortable.” She gestured to the couch. “She’ll be ready in a few. Can I get you something to drink — pop or a glass of tea?”

“Honestly, I need to use your facilities. It’s a long drive to get here, and I had a cup of coffee on the way.”

She pointed. “Second door to the left down that hall, it’s a washroom, just past the laundry.”

“Great, I appreciate it.”

When I returned, Pam’s mother was sitting on a decorative chair in the living room apparently waiting to perform the mandatory parental quiz of a potential suitor as soon as I sat down.

“So, Brent, Pamela tells me you’re a wrestler from Springfield.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, adjusting my place at the end of the sofa closest to her. “We met at the Lake Invitational.”

“She said you beat the state champion there.”

“It was a good day for me. Some say it was luck and I’m okay with that.”

“I should say you had a good day. You know, her previous boyfriend, Thomas, was the captain of our football team. He played middle linebacker and was chosen for the All-State First Team.”

“I’ve heard something about him.”

“I wondered if she warned you.”

“Warned me?”

“She broke up with him.”

“Okay?”

“He hasn’t taken it well. He doesn’t think it’s over and, frankly, I’m not sure it is either.”

“I see. So, you’re telling me she’s on the rebound and there could be a confrontation tonight with her ex?”

“She hasn’t gone out with anyone else since. I don’t think anyone else had the nerve to ask her.”

“Her ex-boyfriend must be intimidating everyone else, then.”

“He’s about your size. You might be taller.”

“So, she asked me to take her to the dance because I’m the only one she knows who would?”

“I’m sure she likes you, Brent.”

“Are you trying to scare me off?”

“I doubt anyone intimidates you.”

I smiled. “Lately, the number has been diminishing.”

“Personally, I like Thomas. I like him a lot. He’s a nice young man, always polite and a true gentleman to Pamela. We got along very well. Until recently, they got along very well, too. I’m not sure what caused the break-up. As I’m sure you know already, Pamela is headstrong, very determined, and has a number of personal goals.”

“Yes, I’ve gotten that impression.”

“When I found out she had a date with you tonight, I told her you needed to know all the facts upfront.”

“Hopefully, her ex will understand, and we’ll get along,” I said.

“That remains to be seen,” her mother said coolly.

“With all due respect to you and her ex, what should matter is what Pam wants.”

“Yes, you’re right, of course,” she said. “I don’t know what Pamela had in mind inviting you to come all this way. Frankly, this makes no sense to me at all. I just don’t want to see someone get involved for the wrong reasons.”

“I appreciate that, but I’m here and now, it involves me, does it not? Regardless of anyone else’s intention, mine is to take your daughter to the dance, as I promised, and show her a good time.”

“My hope is that in inviting you she was not getting to the point of desperation about the situation, and merely finding someone who would take her. She doesn’t like missing a school dance. Pamela has always been a popular girl. She has many friends, and for that reason, attending the dance is important to her.”

“And then, I came along, someone she could dupe with her smile and her pretty face. Is that what you’re suggesting?”

“I didn’t intend it to come out that way.”

“That’s okay.” I smiled. “I have a sense of humor. So, it sounds like Thomas is overly possessive and jealous. He has probably heard about me by now. I’ve been out with Pam before and, likely as not, he’ll be at the dance.”

“Yes, I would assume so. I suspect that Thomas will warn you and try to get you to back off.”

“Or I could just get up right now and leave.”

“Yes, if that’s your choice.”

“I assume Pam’s waiting for my decision. She’s been ready all along.”

“Unfortunately, I learned about this when I came home from work today. I’m not always home when she arrives. My husband and I sell real estate, so late afternoon can be a busy time for both of us.”

“I see.”

“I was certain you were already on your way. Otherwise, I’d have spoken to you over the phone.”

“I appreciate the consideration. But that wouldn’t have mattered. I wanted to be here. I came directly from the school. If you had called, you would have talked to my mother and, likely as not, given her cause to worry.”

“Well, I certainly would not have wanted to do that. At any rate, I’ll compensate you for your troubles.” She reached for her purse. “The gasoline and mileage, I believe a twenty should cover it well.”

“That’s not necessary. I appreciate your concern, though.” I was seriously considering leaving at that moment. It might have been the smart thing to do. If it had been a year earlier, I would have. But I was curious about what Pam had in mind. I relaxed and looked at Pam’s mom, meeting her eyes. “You know, until recently, everyone considered me an easy-going, passive sort of guy. Probably a lot like the sort of guy who would dress this way and not think it was odd at all. I was always big for my age and awkward, not particularly good at any sport, just one of the guys warming the bench. In gym class, I was the last guy picked for dodgeball. It’s not like that anymore.”

“I suppose not.”

“My dad has a saying. It used to irritate me a lot. Every time I complained whenever I was doing something that took a lot of effort, he’d say it. I don’t think I ever understood it until recently. It goes, ‘If it was easy, it wouldn’t be fun’.”

She stared at me for a couple of moments as I finally stood up. Apparently, she didn’t understand my dad’s saying any more than I used to. “Sometimes it’s the effort that makes everything worthwhile,” I clarified. “Now, with your permission, of course, I’m here to escort your daughter to the dance and I intend for us to have a good time.”

“You’re sure?”

“Nothing bad is going to happen to either of us. I’ll see to that.”

Pam descended the stairs. She was decked out in her mock hillbilly attire, replete with red dots of make-up exaggerating her natural freckles. “How do I look?” She wore a broad smile.

“Pert’ ne’r good as a bran’ spankin’ new John Deere tract’r,” I said with a hillbilly twang.

Both she and her mother laughed. “See, I told you he’s fun.”

“Aw shucks, ‘twern’t nuttin’. Folks say I ‘r’ a redneck. I’s a guessin’ I is.”

They both laughed harder.

“Satisfied?” she asked her mom.

“He’s cute and funny, as well as being intelligent and thoughtful. Yes, I approve…for now.”

“Great,” Pam said, offering her hand and I grasped it. “I’m sure she’s given you the worst-case scenario about my ex.”

“You could say that.”

Her mother flashed a smile. “Your name — is Brent short for something?”

“Not really.”

“Fine, I was just wondering. So, Brent, what time will you have Pamela home?”

“The dance’s over at ten-thirty,” Pam said.

“We’ll go somewhere afterward to eat.”

“Let’s say twelve, then?” her mother offered.

“Yes, that seems doable,” I agreed.

“We’re already late.” Pam dragged me toward the door.

“You never show up to a dance on time,” her mother schooled just as Pam was closing the door behind us.